Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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