on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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