We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
