dude i'm inner monologue high
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize