I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
