Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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