And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
