Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize