just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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