The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
