There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
