they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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