I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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