he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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