Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
