Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
