No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
