More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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