the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
