when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
