Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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