oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
