if i can run in heels then i can drive
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize