i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
