New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
