She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
