you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
