I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
