It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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