oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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