Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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