I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
His nipple licking is glorious
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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