okay pat passed out under dana's car
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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