Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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