she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
