Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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