you traded sex for a burrito?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
