is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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