You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
