real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize