he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
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