Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
