Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
