he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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