he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize