I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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