Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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