Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
