I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just google imaged poop.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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