This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
