O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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