Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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