no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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