You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
