I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
barbara walters just said penis...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
