I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
