You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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