After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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