Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?