i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize