Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
